| sad |
[May. 24th, 2004|05:18 pm] |
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Its been a long weekend and i am more than depressed i am at the point where i really want to kill myself. not to be selfish but to do myself a favor so i dont keep hurting myself and the ones around me. i just want my life to end and i want to be burried and have peace. I always wondered about what happens when you die maybe i will find out soon. Me and bill still have problems and even when we talk about it nothing happens i still feel like i'm treated like shit and that he dosent care even tho he says he does. who knows anymore you cant relie on a guy and thats exactly why my lifes so fucked up all i want is for the one person i love to be here for me though my roughest point. I'm at rock bottom, maybe even under the rocks and in the ground. I cant even explain why i am depressed i just feel so shitty about myself and what goes on the past comes back and haunts me everyday and everynight but i get ignored and i have no friends that i can say i trust enough to talk to it feels like i am alone it feels like everybody is pushing me away, maybe i did it to myself maybe i didnt. All i know is i want things to change and i dont think it will thats why i'm going to end up with a casket and my family left alone without me. i dont think they would mind. i am always in trouble i'll take there problems away for them. I dont know what else to say except i had one good year in my life and that was the end. |
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| playin hookie |
[May. 17th, 2004|09:21 am] |
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today i didnt go to school fuck that man i am sick AGAIN for the fuckin millionth time...i was up all night coughing. " Its cause i fuckin smoke" thats what my mom tells me. i dunno watever. i guess i am gonna sleep all day and go to my theropy at 2. school sucks anyway it gets to hot to sit in alt school all day with all "alt school boys" who think there hot shit. Haha i dunno its chill but they fuckin piss me off. Jeff's chill alt school is deff better then bein in normal classes. I'm goin back to sleep. peace out |
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dryedtears9's journal